by India Bonham
Found on Integral Options Café, John Welwood’s outstanding article, “Relationship as a Crucible” begins by admitting this universal truth: Everyone has a hard time with intimate relationships and most of us would like ours to be healthy and satisfying. Welwood says one of the hardest parts is maintaining love over time.

“…a loving connection provides a glimpse of fold that lies within…we continually corrupt it by turning it into a commodity, a magical charm to make us feel okay. All the delusions of romantic love follow from there.” Furthermore, Welwood says that using your relationship as an emotional or spiritual “fix” just destroys the potential of finding “deep joy, true ease, or honest connection with another.”

He goes on to discuss that what we humans often feel are the ramifications of getting involved…the pain, the devastation. But we need to be open to experiencing these realms and welcome them. Welwood explains that there is no reason to get bummed out about all of this, since some type of breaking down is most often necessary in order to achieve significant breakthroughs, “into new ways of living not so encumbered by past conditioning.” According to Welwood, it’s an essential component of our growth and evolution. Do not run away from this! You will only be running from and turning away from your self and possible breakthroughs you could have. As you might have guessed, John Welwood goes into detail on the many ways you may be consciously or unconsciously fleeing the scene (which won’t do you any good).

John Welwood’s article is extremely well thought out and a wonderful read. These were just a few highlights. Do consider following the link and making time to read the whole thing. I found it quite thought provoking and eye-opening and hope you will too. The entire article, which was adapted from a talk John Welwood gave at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco can be found on William Harryman’s Integral Options Café Blog.

Erogenous Zone Maps

This is a fun depiction of male and female erogenous zones, mapped out for you visually…found on Divine.Ca. Enjoy!