The Bright Side of Going through a Divorce

Unfortunately, sometimes relationships evolve into a split up. As I’m sure you know, anyone who is going through a major split up may not have the most positive outlook on the situation. In this interview, writer Debbie Ford explores the positive side of the death of a relationship. She begins with the aptly named Spiritual Divorce, which refers to using this time as an opportunity to grow and learn, including learing to view it as a gain instead of as a loss.

Any major shake-ups in our lives are often great wake-up calls and can alter our life course for the better -– they are opportunities to improve ourselves. Ford stresses the importance of surrender, since change cannot pay off if we remain stubborn and stuck instead of accepting the unknown paths that lay before you. Personally, I’ll never forget what Mary Embry (a sage of a psychotherapist from Berkeley) said to me years ago: She said that when your marriage ends, you actually take on the good traits of your ex-partner to add to the traits you already possess. This, of course, can lead to becoming an better individual who has grown by leaps and bounds. See the article at www.gaiam.com.

Here’s another article on embracing the new world which begins after a break-up. The Dating Goddess asks in her blog post, “What’s your relationship recovery time?” and shares her own past experience after her marriage of almost twenty years ended. What’s the bottom line? With love and understanding, take care of yourself during your own process, and do not hang on to any bitterness, anger or pain for too long, as it will not do you any good and will actually sap your energy and keep you from focusing on the better things you genuinely desire. Read it at www.datinggoddess.com.

Lighthearted Blast from the Past, “Blueprint for Happiness” by Dr. Crane

How does your marriage rate to 1930s standards? On her blog creatingmsperfect, Kimberly Palmer shares that her husband sent her the (thankfully) outdated Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s. Have you seen this yet? I am just glad it’s considered outmoded (mostly) as I would surely (and happily) fail a good amount of the test. And why didn’t this article include some of the items for rating husbands created in the same era? And anyway, what’s wrong with putting cold feet on your partner at night to warm them (yes, I am guilty…but my partner encourages me)?

I managed to locate an online copy of the original booklet which includes the husband ratings, as well as the entire wife’s list, graciously uploaded by Tiabla at flickr.com. I like that demerits are given for “rolls in bed covers -– pulls them off wife.” How about, “Calls out, Where is… without first hunting the object”?

Check them out and let me know what you think about these lists?