by Jesudas Baba
The other day I was walking along the Avenue when I went past a group of religious folk singin’ and praisin’ God and passin’ out pamphlets of some sort. I chose not to stop, but as I was going past one sweetly smiling young lass called out to me to say that they could help me find my inner ewe.

Imagine my confusion! An inner ewe? I had no idea I had a fluffy little farm animal within me! It certainly explains a couple of things, though. Like why everyone calls me “Baba,” for one. Also helps me to understand why I feel so sheepish sometimes.

But why is it to my spiritual advantage to find mine? I just don’t get it. Maybe they were Christians. They are into that whole “Lamb of God” thing, right? Makes sense to me.

Of course, I had to wonder what else is in here. Are there any more farm animals? I’m not sure I want another one. I am pretty happy with my ewe. I think I would have too much beef with an inner cow and an inner duck probably isn’t all it is quacked up to be.

Wait a minute…horrid thought…farms have all the different animals in them, so what if we have a whole menagerie within us? Can you imagine it? Looking within only to find there is no room because the chickens have overrun your medula oblongata and the pigs have populated your pancreas! And the noise! I thought we were supposed to have inner peace! Maybe after the cows come home…

Perhaps it would be better to look for a different inner beast, like something from the wilds of India, since we want it to be spiritual. But what would it be? A tiger? A cobra? No…I’ve got it. An elephant!

I think it would be nice to have an inner elephant. They eat all the time, sleep very little, and it doesn’t seem to affect their health any at all. They are the biggest thing around so nothing else messes with them. And they actually look good with wrinkles. Yeah, that’s what I want, an inner elephant!

So I hope that cheerful young lady has fun looking for her inner ewe. I won’t be there with her.

I’ve got bigger game.

photo credit