Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples by Tara Parker Pope is a NewYork Times article I learned about from iconic author Susie Bright’s audio show this past week (her blog and podcasts can be found at susiebright.com). In her article, Ms. Parker Pope explains that for couples whose date nights feel boring, what they need is some change and novelty when approaching their next date night plans. Although research is still in its early stages, experiments have already shown that instead of doing the same old thing for your date night -– whatever that is for you, whether it’s dinner or dinner and a movie –- couples should try new things together that you both enjoy. This can re-fire those circuits in the brain that were on fire when you were first dating. Examples range from organized sporting activities to simply exploring a new town or neighborhood, just as long as it’s something the two of you do not normally do. The caveat is…this tactic won’t necessarily help relationships that are in need of serious help, but it may indeed give new spark to those couples in relatively good long term relationships that may feeling monotonous of late. Check out the entire article at www.nytimes.com.

Dr. Illana Berger’s 12 Principles to Guide Your Life: From Divorce to Love got my attention when she said that the unanswered questions in your life are okay as is -– questions such as, “Why am I with this person as a mate right now in my life?” or “Where are the two of us headed?” or “What is the meaning of my life?” You just need to live and let the answers unfold in time, because at some point you will come to live out the answers. I liked how she explained that in truly living your questions, you make way for a life that actually becomes sacred, and gain more curiosity, kindness and generousness. You are no longer hurriedly on the hunt for the answers to your life’s questions, divorcing yourself from fully experiencing the present in every moment of your life. Later in the article, Dr. Berger points out that all spiritual teachings explain that the root of all suffering is the searching for our happiness and seeking to fulfill our desires -– we actually already are what we have been seeking! In the article she goes on to explain the 12 Principles which you can apply in order to aid you in making these discoveries. You can find them here, beginning with number one, “The Principle of Design Beneath Chaos” at the relationshipsarerelative blog.

I’d like to leave you with this quote:

“It is well to give when asked,
but it is better to give unasked,
through understanding.”
– Kahlil Gibran

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